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| It's been a while I know.... school has started so i'm having trouble finding time to update and i'm also lacking the all-important motivation to write. Ugh, maybe it'll get better?
You think you're the best,
i think you're considerably less.
either way you're no good for me.
she sleeps in her sweatpants
so she can take the heat,
the cold chills remind her of her latest defeat.
he stole her heart with a brush of his lips,
and although he's absent he's hard to resist.
In my head i knew you weren't right,
but i tend to follow my heart.
everyone told me "get out while you can.
he'll take you out then he'll break you down"
and that's exactly what you did.
I wish I could smoke a million cigarettes
and not eat for a week to make the people
around me worry and call you to tell you
I'm not doing so fine after all.
eabyourheartout
Maybe he’s wondering why I quit calling. Maybe he’s actually missing me. Maybe he’s thought about calling me... Or maybe right this moment he’s sitting in his room laying oh so casually on his bed, talking on that cell phone of his and tricking another girl to fall in love with the sound of his words, and I’m not a glimmer of a thought in his mind.
psilovequotes
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| all quotes without credit are written by me
comments are greatly appreciated :)
so the bartender who tends to pretend
that he's concerned
says, "girly, girly you're at your best
when you're sober."
and she slurs, "no, no just one more."
and one turns into four.
the fourth drink instinct is takin over
and the gentleman is leading her
towards the door.
Cute Is What We Aim For - The Fourth Drink Instinct
The night was perfect for something
she thought she knew just what.
a little party in the backseat of his car
should have been perfect to kick it off.
it amazes me how easy it was for you
to just put on that face of yours
and lie straight to mine
now i know what your about
and you should know
i'm getting the fuck out.
she's not feeling as fine anymore
now that the adrenaline is gone.
she's realized that she's still lonely.
she's realized what he's done.
Never over estimate something you never had. Not having that one thing could be the best thing that's ever happened to you.
-eabyourheartout
All this drama is so crazy, all these lies
are even worse. I kind of want to say I'm
sorry, but I want you to say it first.
-eabyourheartout
Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don’t feed me violence, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee’s never strong enough
I know you think it’s more than just bad luck
-imogen heap; speeding cars
You never promised to stick around, so I don't know why I expected you to. I guess I just wanted to believe you were better when everyone knew you weren't.
-eabyourheartout
here for an hour,
gone for the rest of my life.
that would usually be okay,
but i wanted you for more than a night.
i like you.
instead of making me guess
you make me smile.
instead of ignoring me for weeks
you apologize for not talking to me
after just one day.
you are careful about my feelings
instead of pretending they don't exist.
you tell me you want to be with me
instead of telling me you want me.
you are different. you are better.
and i like you.
Pretty girl is suffering
while he confesses everything
pretty soon she'll figure out
you can never get him outta your head
its the way that he makes you cry
its the way that he's in your mind
its the way that he makes you fall in love
its the way that he makes you feel
its the way that he kisses you
its the way that he makes you fall in love
Sugarcult - Pretty Girl
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| things have been changing like nothing i've ever seen,
it's as if something is really different about me.
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| It's been quite a while since i've updated. i know. things got really busy for a while, but now its exactly the opposite. so here are some looong past due quotes.
his eye is on the helpless girl
he watches her struggle today
she can see his captivated stare
he doesnt know it's causing her pain.
Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don’t feed me violence, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee’s never strong enough
I know you think it’s more than just bad luck
-imogen heap; speeding cars
And the night has no compassion for your actions
When you're trying to get away
From the hard day
-imogen heap; oh me, oh my
Shush. You broke my heart. And you acted like somehow it was my fault, my misunderstanding, and I was too in love with you to ever be mad at you, so I just punished myself! For years! But you waltzing in here on my lovely Christmas holiday, and telling me that you don't want to lose me whilst you're about to get MARRIED, somehow newly entitles me to say, it's over. This - This twisted, toxic THING between us, is finally finished! I'm miraculously done being in love with you! Ha! I've got a life to start living.
-Iris, The Holiday
I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.
-Iris, The Holiday
I have another scenario for you - I'm in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I'm in love... with YOU. I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way... which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you. I can't believe how many times I'm saying it! And I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. And I realize that I come as a package deal: 3 for the price of 1. I know my package, perhaps in the light of day, isn't all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want and that, in itself, is a miracle. And what I want is YOU.
-Graham, The Holiday
there is no one like you.
not anywhere in the world.
i can't compare you to anyone i've ever known
and that makes it harder.
people give advice, try to help,
but they don't know you
not like i do at least,
so their words are irrelevant.
all i can do is try to help myself,
and i'll tell you, my mind has already
been pretty messed up, but this,
this is taking a toll on me and
i'm not sure how long i'll last.
i'm just hoping that you'll see,
and you'll realize, and
you will make it easy for me.
there she sits, all alone,
contemplating what she's done.
it's no surprise, she feels like shit,
this time she won't get over it.
if i told you i was sorry, would you believe me? would you remember who i am and not who i appear to be? would you understand if i told you i care what you think, and i cant go on knowing you think less of me? would you be able to forgive me and still be my friend? because i think now, more than ever, i need you to be my friend. i am nothing without you
listen to the music
listen to the rain
fall fast asleep
remember your name
know who you are
and always will be
not who you've become
temporarily
dream of the future
learn from the past
only good is to come
the darkness won't last
if you can get through this
there's nothing you can't do
get yourself back to normal
and all the rest will be too.
PEOPLE SUCK. and people make mistakes. no one is perfect and no one is expecting anybody else to be. that's life.
-a good friend of mine
a lot of these aren't mine, but i have started writing again.. so hopefully soon there will be a big huge update that's alllll me.
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| i haven't been writing anything because i decided that in order for me to move on to new things, i needed to stop living in the past, or the present even. but recently i discovered that no matter what i do, for now at least, i can't move on. so here's a little update.
i'm gonna try like hell to forget your face.
it won't work, but the least i can do is try.
making assumptions about other people is probably the stupidest thing we can do. our perspective of a situation is always different then the next person's, and trying to decide what that person sees, how they feel, and what they want is like trying to decide the right numbers to win the lottery. the one thing you can safely assume is that i have never won the lottery...
i'm in trouble.
i don't know what to do.
thinking of you has become so cruel.
you follow me around,
and she follows you.
hopefully i'll be free from this soon.
i listened to a song that i'd heard a million times before, but this time i really listened to it. i don't know if it was the silence around me or the somber mood i was in, but something just clicked. i heard the words and i understood them. and finally some other things started making sense. i realized that things weren't so bad, and i was going to be okay.
We've seen each other
a few times since that night.
i've barely spoken to you
or even looked at you
because i thought it was
supposed to be awkward.
just because of what we went through.
i think now that it was only awkward
because i made it that way.
and talking to you today
just let me know
the old "us" is still around...
we just have to work a little to find it.
Just because I don't wear black
doesn't mean I don't hurt inside.
I've been chewed up and spit out
more times than I care to remember.
Just because I don't cut my wrists
doesn't mean I dont want people to know
just how much hell I've been through lately.
eabyourheartout
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